1. I am in a war zone.
That’s how she enters my practice. She is in a fight with a team member. She talks fast, her breath is high as well as the tone of her voice. That is what voices sound like when you’re fighting. It creates the ideal fuel for extra fire. These are the voices that want to prove right, shut down ears and will not be listened to.
As we talk her voice calms down, becomes softer and more resonant. This is the voice that is able to listen and connect again. This is the voice that can lean over to create an overview and hear that we all speak our truth. This is also the voice that is able to set boundaries.
Bottom line is… It’s okay to be mad, to be on fire, to show emotion and speak with a high-pitched tone. As long as you remember this is only short term thinking. You have the ability to use your voice as a sustainable instrument, to listen and connect.
Use your voice not only to fuel up the heat, to push (people away). Use your voice to pull, to attract people into a mutual understanding. This will cost less energy and sleepless nights.
The ingredient to do this, is called resonance.
2. My voice fades out.
After a day full of online meetings, his voice feels heavy and low of energy. It costs him a lot of effort to speak.
“How do I solve this?”
I reply him his voice is trying to tell him something. How many times did you check in on yourself today? How many minutes did you rest and be quiet?
Listening and take care of your voice is always the first step. A tired voice isn’t present and produces a lot of air. It sounds low and heavy. Speaking will cost extra energy.
In the session we stimulate his ears to take the pressure off the vocal chords. Afterwards we work on the head register. I ask him to yawn, produce and speak with a high tone.
Instantly his voice changes. The sound becomes more present, loud and lighter. It doesn’t cost effort to speak and he feels energized.
Everything you need to speak and create impact is already there. You just need to know where to look.
The head register creates melody, energy. It adds attention and inspiration.
The nose register adds volume and clarity and makes your sound more present.
The chest register gives warmth and depth. It empowers your confidence.
3. About this morning…
She is 21 and got the Silver program as a gift from het mom (who is a very special person too) after a challenging year at university. After her bachelor in speech therapy she had decided to give up on the master because she missed the voice and the holistic approach in her study and internship.
We talked about her voice, resonance, singing, study and life. We worked on confidence, trust, warmth and depth in her voice.
Today was her last session and I asked her what she had learned. Her answer was surprisingly: “I have learned to let go of control and embrace chaos.”
That is exactly what I love about this work. She had learned that everything you need is already there when you start to listen.
I wish someone had told me this when I was 21, that it is okay not to know yet, to keep on going, to know that chaos is needed to reorganize to a higher level, to be playful and to embrace where you are… in voice, in life, in you.