‘Ihre sehnsucht ist sehr groB dass Sie jetzt nicht sehen konnte wieviel es shon giebt.” Your longing is so big that you cannot see how much already is there. I can still hear one of my Lichtenberger teachers saying this to me. I wanted to be the perfect singer, to be in control of my sound, that most of the time I didn’t hear how resonating my voice already was. This process of learning costed me a lot of effort and energy since I was always breaking myself down, saying no to the voice to be developed.
Say yes to what already is.
In my practice I always ask clients what they hear, observe and feel while speaking. Often we focus on what is not there yet and that’s the only thing we hear. Karen has a beautiful voice and works on her breathing to feel more relaxed while speaking. Her inner voice is very critical, always trying to be perfect. When I ask her after an exercise what she hears and observes, she almost always replies: “I am not there yet.”
When you focus too much on what you want, you’ll risk not to hear or see what is already there. That’s a pity because you’ll grow faster when you start from where you are at this moment instead of focusing on where you want to be. Focus on the outcome, set your goals, imagine how you want it to be, are sentences often heard in business coaching and positive psychology. I believe this is true, but only if you start from where you are now instead of neglecting the current situation. Start with what is already there so this has the chance to grow. You will grow faster and the outcome will be more sustainable this way.
The harder you say no, the longer it will last.
“I can still hear it.” That is what Didier tells me at the start of our first sessions. He doesn’t like the nasal sound in his voice and wants to get rid of it. The faster, the better. He wants a voice that sounds resonant, soft, warm and present. By referring to his current sound as awful and ugly, he says no to his voice.
Saying no to your voice is also saying no to yourself and is a killer for growth. Even more… the more you say ‘I don’t want it’, the more attention you’ll give it and the more it will appear because your focus is on it. The sound follows your attention.
Instead of focusing too much on the ‘No’, embrace what is so it can grow. Say yes to the nasal sound and focus on the growth. Saying no all the time will cost you more effort and energy than saying yes.
In voice, in life, in you
This insight wasn’t only useful for me in the development of my voice and also of my personal growth (health, relationships, work and money mindset). If you focus on what you don’t want, you’ll receive more of that. Say yes to what is, where you’re at and try to embrace it, so you can grow from there. The wanted outcome will appear faster, is more connected and sustainable.
Finally I want to teach you a small exercise to practice yes.
- Put your hand on your chest bone.
- Say yes and feel the vibration.
- Make the y in yes longer to warm up the vibration/ resonance
- Repeat and feel the happiness
Katrien Van Geystelen helps develop your voice so you will be heard, your message stands out and you become irresistible powerful and confident.