How losing your voice helps you to become the most heard & successful version of you.
Every day I meet people with great talent and expertise which is not reflected in their voice. Professionals in top positions who are not heard. Even more… When they drop a new idea or a thoughtful argument no one around the table listens, but when a colleague points out the exact same idea five minutes later everyone applauds.
That can be done better!
Often the key to get heard lies in the way they use their voice. In order to become successful they need to lose their voice or unlearn the way they are used to speak.
Where did we go wrong?
Nowhere! Since nobody thought us how to use our voice.
When we learn our first words, we copy the voice of our teacher which is often a parent. That’s why siblings have a similar sound and way of speaking. That is also why our voice will sound different in every other language since we have probably learned it from another teacher.
We learn to use our voice by copying other voices. This is an unconscious act, like any other body language we have learned.
It is mostly at an older age that we become aware of our voice, f.e. when we hear ourself on recordings, when we suffer from pain after speaking or when we notice people don’t hear us or won’t listen.
A reflection on voice and leadership
Copying voices is also notable in public speaking and leadership. Throughout history the misunderstanding has arisen that being a leader and speaking up has to do with using a lot of breathing pressure on the vocal cords to show power and confidence. The opposite is true.
A lot of historical (male) figures spoke with a lot of pressure and dared to start shouting. By using more pressure, the voice becomes loud, high-pitched, but has no resonance. The only effect they got was to scare people with your voice. Putting a lot of pressure on the voice, puts people under pressure.
Today research has proven that ears block loud, high-pitched voices and also leadership is nowadays perceived differently. To build long-term, sustainable relationships, to inspire and connect with the audience, we need to talk about resonance, a new way of speaking and communicating.
It’s all about presence and energy
The moment you learn to speak and learn words or a language, you lose a big part of your natural power. The energy of your voice can mostly be heard through the vowels. There is no sound and only pressure in most of the consonants.
This in combination with the speed you are often speaking on, leaves almost no space for the true power, energy and greatness of the voice. Even more… The speed of your talking causes a louder, high-pitched voice.
The more space you’ll give to the primal sound of our voice, the more freedom, energy, power, presence and connection you’ll get in your communication and presentation.
Impact and success lie in using your voice in a new (or better in an old, natural) way. The more you let go of the pressure on the vocal cords, the more your voice can resonate with who you are and with your audience. This is the key to connect, be heard and listened to.
Exercise
Place your hand on your breast bone and feel the vibration while saying a long ‘oooooo’. Now say a sentence and feel the vibration on the vowels. By lengthening the vowels you will increase the vibration of your speaking.
A personal experience from my last visit to Lichtenberg
Before I lost everything… pitch, volume, grip and even vowels.
There was little left of how she sounded, my voice… or that's how it felt. The more I tried to let go, the more I fell back on control and grip.
In the end I lost everything… or almost.
What remained was a blown away audience and a voice that was filled with energy, tranquility and presence. Everything was there!
“I heard Katrien like I've never heard Katrien before, touched into her and my deepest fiber.”, was the feedback of my audience.
That weekend I was able to experience for myself what I hear every time in my practice. The power of your voice is in being more and doing less… in voice, in life, in you!
The greater the presence, the greater the voice. The more aware you are of this fact, the more ownership you get over your voice. Therein lies impact, strength and success!
How to develop the best version of you?
Everything starts with listening
Listen to your voice and how it sounds different every time, depending on the time, place, your physical and mental well-being and the people you are speaking to. By listening better to your voice and yourself, you can use it better, more consciously so you’ll communicate more successfully.
Think big
Many people only use 50% of their vocal range and therefore don't really show themselves. They keep themselves small and are not heard. By using all the registers of your voice, you show what you have to offer and what talents you bring to the world.
Check in regularly
Checking in with yourself increases your presence, awareness and ownership. This includes peace, confidence and self-confidence. A check-in can be closing your eyes and breathing consciously. It only takes a minute and gives you so much more space.
Build a routine
Working on your voice is like training a muscle. It is more effective to practice for 5-10 minutes every day instead of one hour every week. When you link the routine of your breathing and voice exercises to another routine such as showering, meditating or walking, you build up a new voice very quickly. Success assured!
Learn more
Sparklin’ voice offers custom made programs, workshops, coaching and training starting from €79. Click below to discover them.
Please contact me for more information.
Kind regards,
Katrien
