The unknown as breakthrough: lessons from the voice.
It’s probably an understatement to say we are living in challenging times since March 2020. I don’t know. We don’t know. Nobody seems to know. Over the last months I heard clients, friends and myself dealing with uncertainty, fear and the will to get grip again.
It isn’t always easy to deal with the unknown and when I zoom out of the current situation, I recognize the same patterns in the voice work. Maybe they can be useful for you.
Fear of the unknown.
Before working on the voice, people are used to know how it sounds, how to use it, how to control it and although they may not like the sound of their voice, there is a certainty in it. Most of the people like their voice firm and solid, but then get quickly tired or soar after speaking too long. Secondly it is an illusion to control your voice, since you cannot feel the vocal cords during speaking.
Over the years I’ve learned that this control keeps your voice and yourself small. The energy, impact and power of your voice is often much bigger than your mind can imagine. This is what I hear and see in my practice. To unlock the full potential of the voice, I ask my clients to be open, to do all kind of exercises (which I never explain before so the head doesn’t know why or what and cannot intervene) and let the mind observe and listen.
The first reaction to an unknown sound is rejection. Clients often refer to this new voice as difficult, strange, ugly. This is normal. We all have a tendency to keep things the way they are, they way we know them and we choose the homeostasis.
Vicky had a loud, present voice. I heard more potential and worked with her on the lower tones and opening up her chest resonance.
The moment she opened up all registers, I was blown away. Her voice gained much more power. “How is this for you?”. Vicky told me it was strange to her, that she sounded ugly.
I asked her to try again and speak as ‘ugly’ as possible, to be open, to observe and listen. In the experience she could hear the undertones and feel the comfort and confidence. When I saw her eyes starting to sparkle, I knew she had understood.
The unknown as breakthrough.
During every coaching there comes a moment when the voice reveals its true greatness and power. That is the moment when the mind gets awake because it doesn’t understand what’s going on and wants to take back control. Out of this moment comes chaos, the conflict between known and unknown, old and new, control and surrender. The voice, located in the larynx is squeezed in between head and body and reacts.
This is the moment when the voice starts to shake and sound unstable, where people forget what they were saying, have no idea what they are doing and have to deal with the unknown. This is the moment where I see people want to stop and drop out, but where I have learned is the breakthrough to a power- and impactful voice.
After a while the new voice sets itself in a beautiful mix of the old and the new sound, head register and body register working together. Therefore I ask my clients to start over gently and listen to what this new sound, this new voice can bring them. For one it’s speaking with more comfort and ease, for another is to gain more confidence and impact. For me it’s always about opening up all registers and showing your full potential. The process towards it is often as valuable as the result.
I try to look in a similar way to look at the current situation, which I like to call challenging instead of difficult. We are in the process of dealing with something new, something we don’t know and which we cannot control (yet). Maybe these tips can be useful on how to deal with this pandemic.
Tips from the voice work
Accept what is, also the fact of not knowing it (yet).
There is freedom in acceptance of what is, even if it is the fact that you don’t know. It’s an illusion that you can know and will control everything. The only thing you can control is to keep searching, to try and do your best.
Try to embrace chaos.
Chaos is needed to reorganize to a new, higher level. It’s part of life and an invitation to growth… in voice, in life, in you. It isn’t always easy to be in the unknown and yet it is all part of the process.
Judgment and expectation work contra productive
The more you judge or create an opinion (about the others and yourself), the slower the process of acceptance and growth.
Breathe
When you feel the stress or panic of the unknown, then try to calm yourself by deepening your breath. Inhale 3 seconds in through the nose, exhale 6 seconds out through the mouth. This works always!
Be patient and keep faith.
Things will work out. It may not lead to what you had thought it would, but it will lead you to somewhere… Always!
Do you want to explore more?
Beside my coaching program Find your voice, I recently launched a new program Discover your voice, which contains an e-book (workbook) and audio’s filled with information, inspiration and exercises on how to open up your voices’ full potential.
Check also my calendar for upcoming webinars and workshops on breath and resonance.
Keep safe and kind regards,
Katrien
